Kayla

Plot >Don't talk about Kangen water only, it seems like your selling it! >Talk about people getting water ionizers, then give Kangen water and Enagic as a example. >Tell them the benifits of getting water ionizers >Tell them the difference in price (ex: bottled water = from a year vs. a water ionizer = from a year) > New thesis: Don't use bottled water, use water ionizers! (?) =What is the problem? : The problem is that water bottles shouldn't be used because they aren't as good as they seem to be and yu should get a ater ionizer instead because they are much healther and cost less.= = = =Rough Draft #2= =Water Ionizers v.s. Bottled Water=

NEVER judge a book by it's cover. That's what a water bottle's label paper should say. Because, let us face the facts, we've all been using and buying and using and buying lots of water bottles, and when we are done drinking our fill with them, we throw them away, not giving a second thought of what we've done. Well, guess what? Water bottles aern't we've all gone through the part of wanting to buy a water ionizer; but at the end we just stick with the bottled water just because it's "cheaper" than a water ionizer. I admit, water ionizers //DO// cost a pretty penny, but it's way cheaper comparing the notes over 30 years. Look at this: We might spend 330 dollars on the tap water you use and then filter with a water ionizer, but it will cost over 1,730 dollars buying the cheapest bottle water you can find. It sounds pretty impossible when you are just starting those years with a couple of bottled waters, doesn't it? Okay, we've just finished the money issue, but there is a health problem also. You guys all might know that bottled water might give you a health risk, but the word that our ear catches is MIGHT. So, considering the the part of MIGHT, we don't consider it a big deal. And when you look into the water, it even looks pure and tastes really good, and doesn't have those white floaty things that you get from the ozone water at a nearby water store. Yeah, I even thought that bottled water was healthy when I was little, and those words on the cover like "pure" and "natural" and the beautiful big mountain with white white ice assured me it was clean. Little did I know that bottled water has a very dangerous chemical called Endocrine. Did you even know that that little chemical can cause the following: Breast Cancer development, Prostate Cancer development, Obesity (I could believe bottled water could do that when contaminated with that chemical!), Thyroid Dysfunction, Metabolism Dysfunction, etc. Nonalcoholic Fatty Liver Disease, Osteoarthritis, Skin Problems, etc. Can cause death.
 * Breast Cancer:** a tumor that is located in a person's breast and may spread through other places, like bones or the liver. Side Effects with Treatment: Loss of Apetitite, Vomiting, Dizzyness/weakness, Soreness, Hair Loss, Weight Gain, and become more vunable to infections. Can cause death.
 * Prostate Cancer:** a tumor located in the prostate gland. Symptoms: Dribbling, Delayed Urine Stream, Strains/Soreness, Bone Pain. Can cause death.
 * Obesity:** When people eat more calories than they could burn off, it turns into fat and later on if they get too much fat, then their symptoms turn into OBESITY. Symptoms: High Cholesterol, 2 diabetes, High Blood Pressure, Metabolic Syndrome, Heart Disease, Strokes, All types of Cancer, Sleep Apnea, Depression, Gall Bladder Disease,
 * Thyroid Dysfunction:** When a butterfly-looking gland in the neck gets a tumor of cancer. Symptoms: Risk of Heart Disease, Infertility, Depression, Anxiety, Hair Loss, Obesity, etc. //May// cause death.
 * Metabolism Dysfunction:** Symptions: Lactic Acid build-up, CNS Malformation, Seizures. Can cause death.

=Water Ionizers v.s. Bottled Water=

NEVER judge a book by it's cover. That's what a water bottle's label paper should say. Because, let's face the faces, we use and buy water bottles so much it hasn't occured to us exactly how much

Persuasive Outline
Thesis Statement/Belief Statement (Last Statement in Intro) Persuade without repetition

I. Intro a. Connect with audience / attention getter "never juge a book by it's cover" b. Explain the problem "WE ARE USING SOMETHING THAT ISN'T GOOD FOR BOTH OUR HEALTH AND THE ENVIRONMENT" c. Thesis statement (what you think would solve the problem) "We should get water ionizers"

II. Proposition Support "health issues" a. Main idea (restate your solution) "You should get a water ionizer" b. Details to support your solution "Bottled water has a dangerous chemical called Endocrine" c. Show how trying your solution will work "Water ionizers don't got Endocrine and have antioxidant"

III.Proposition Support "money issues" a. Main idea (restate your solution)"You should get a water ionizers" b. Details " cost over 1,730 dollars buying the cheapest bottle water you can find" c. How it will work "Water ionizers you will spend 330 dollars on tap water you use and then filter with a water ionizer"

IV.Conclusion "Now you know whats good for you" a. Restate thesis "Never judge a book by it's cover" c. Call to action (say exactly what you want your audience to do)"go buy some water ionizer!

__Look for **FRIES**__ **F** acts **R** easons **I** ncidents **E** xamples **S** tatistics